I guess “I Dream of Jeannie” might be better…

There is a pretty high bar set for midnight texts. There are several options for what this text could be. I will accept: sexual texts, drunken stories, needing to be picked up from somewhere, messages about how big of a dick Lou Diamond Philips is and suggestions for songs that might be among the worst things ever.

The latter of this list is what I received last night. Deep in the midst of a semi-drunken “Supernatural” marathon, I received a message from a friend suggesting that he had found the worst song of all time. I waited until the morning to listen to it. With no further ado, here is the new contender for worst pop-song of the last 10 years.

I have so many questions to ask here. Why does the girl who’s naked throughout the whole video wearing a one-piece when she swims? Is there more than one guy in this band? What the fuck is up with the girl with the raccoon eye make-up? Is that the Grim Reaper? Why would you pull out an engagement ring when a hillbilly pulls a gun on you? How do you shoot that scene on the rollercoaster ? Why is she wearing a towel with a dude’s face on it?

Oh god, I fucking can’t take it anymore and I’m so sorry to expose you to this. Here, this is my only condolence . Please forgive me.

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